


The Logistics of Fae, or: How to Finally Get Your Fucking Sink Fixed

by TheElectricSpecter



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Drinking, Faerie AU, M/M, Oral Sex, Seelie Court, fae!Dex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 19:47:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13818192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheElectricSpecter/pseuds/TheElectricSpecter
Summary: “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you must be an angel.”“Fae, actually.”***Nursey meets a glowing man at a bar.





	The Logistics of Fae, or: How to Finally Get Your Fucking Sink Fixed

Okay, so maybe, just maybe, Nursey was drunk. And maybe, just maybe, the guy seemed a little odd. But hey, everyone glows when you’re wasted, right?

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” He slides onto the stool next to the man at the end of the bar. “Because you must be an angel.”

“Fae, actually.” The man takes a sip of the bright yellow cocktail in front of him. It sparkles, lit up by a faint gold aura.

“Guess I can’t give you my name then, huh?” He knew about the fae – his cousin married a changeling a few years back – but it had been a while since he met one in person.

“Like I’d give you mine, either.” His eyes are the same color as his aura, a smooth gold that reminds Nursey of the honey in his cupboard at home. They match the twinkle of the cocktail on the bar and he wonders if the fae ordered that drink on purpose.

“Call me Nursey.”

“Dex.”

“Now, I know if you like the fae, you give them an offering – can I buy you a drink?” Nursey leans forward. “Or you could at least tell me what you’re drinking now. It’s sparkly as hell and I want one.”

“This drink would kill a human,” Dex says bluntly. “And I made an agreement with the bouncer that I wouldn’t harm any humans tonight, so I won’t contribute to your downfall.”

“Do you regularly harm humans?”

“Not regularly.” Nursey sees his eyes flash. “But it’s a requirement for fae to enter the bar.”

“Well, that’s good. Dying wasn’t in my plans tonight.”

“Interesting that you chose to come to a faerie bar, then,” Dex says with a grin. He turns to face the sea of tables filling the open space of the bar. For a split-second, Nursey swears he sees his teeth sparkle.

“If I can’t share your cocktail, should I order you another one?”

Dex downs the remaining liquid in his glass. “I’m good. Not really in the mood to part with any more favors, and the money equivalent of faerie favors, is, well…” He grits his teeth.

Nursey’s look of confusion must prompt him to explain. “The faerie cocktails can only be paid for using favors. The rest of my weekend is booked with home and mechanical repairs. People will give a lot for a faerie to paint their nursery.”

“However,” he continues. “I’ve got some homemade honey mead at my apartment that my neighbor gave me for changing his oil, if you’d like to split it. Human friendly.” His smile returns, easier this time, and his glow subtly strengthens.

Nursey returns the smile. “I’d love to. You live close by?”

“Walking distance. Don’t even need to bust out my wings.”

“Good. I’m too drunk for heights.”

Dex laughs at that, throwing his head back and sounding oddly like church bells. “Well, let’s go then.”

“Lead the way,” Nursey says, enraptured.

Dex lives just down the street, in an apartment building that pricks him with the feeling of home as soon as he walks into the lobby. When he steps foot into Dex’s apartment, it turns into a flood.

“Enchantment,” he explains. “Who I let in here will never feel uncomfortable.”

“Smart,” Nursey replies, settling himself onto the couch as Dex pulls two wine glasses from his cupboard. “What do you do?”

“Computer engineering. You?” He sits next to his guest on the couch and hands him a glass filled with a golden liquid, and yeah, it matches Dex’s eyes.

“I’m a copy editor for a literary magazine.” He sips the mead and feels it warm his chest and stomach. “I wouldn’t expect a faerie to work with computers.”

“There’s magic in everything, including computers.” Dex tastes his mead and rests his hand on Nursey’s shoulder. His glow is bright. He twists his face in thought. “Including you.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have faerie blood. Did-” He notices Nursey’s shocked expression. “Did you not know?”

“Uh, no. I mean, leaves follow me around sometimes, but I figured-”

“I mean, it’s a tiny amount. Barely noticeable, but definitely there.”

Nursey leans into his touch. “Does this mean I could’ve tasted your drink?”

Dex extends his arm so that Nursey is nestled into the crook of his shoulder. “No, still would’ve killed you. It’s barely noticeable. If the leaves follow you around, there’s likely a dryad way back in your family tree.” He pauses. “Pun not intended.”

A snort. “Yeah, okay.”

They’re silent after that, sipping on the honey mead until the bottle is empty and Dex has taken to burying his face into the top of Nursey’s head. He inhales deeply. “God, you smell like a dryad.”

“You smell like mmph-” Dex cuts him off with a firm kiss to the lips and they both melt into it, like honey melting into tea, like butterscotch melting on his tongue.

They continue melting into each other as Dex tries to stand and Nursey pushes him back into the couch, planting kisses on his neck and his forehead; a kiss for every golden freckle on his cheeks.

“Anything I should know about faerie sex before I take your clothes off?”

Dex laughs breathlessly and pulls off his t-shirt. “Nothing that’ll fuck you in the bad way.” His eyes flicker with mischief, reminding Nursey of the magic flooding their systems.

“I’m gonna suck your dick,” he murmurs. He discovers more and more golden freckles on the faerie’s torso as he kisses his way down, and when he finally gets his mouth on him, Dex’s gasp sounds like the wind whipping its way through a wheat field.

He whispers expletives in a language that gives Nursey goosebumps, even though he doesn’t understand the words. “Agh, faeguh meurin- _Faeguh.”_

“Fuck.” He’s overwhelmed by the magic, the mead, the inhuman scent of his partner – it’s not long before they’re both over the edge, and he collapses forward into Dex’s lap.

He buries his fingers in Nursey’s hair and scratches lightly at his scalp. “Holy shit.”

He can’t help but chuckle at Dex’s astonishment. “If it was that good, you owe me food.”

A sweet smile. “It’s the best head I’ve had, well, ever. I owe you more than that.”

Nursey returns the smile. “I’ll settle for a kebab. For now.”

“Deal. For now.”

***

This fucking sink.

Nursey curses as the kitchen faucet spews freezing water all over his hands and t-shirt. It was only a matter of time, he thinks. It’s been leaking for weeks and nothing had been done, despite multiple calls to his landlord.

“I’ll get someone over there lickety split, sweetpea,” he had said, _three weeks ago,_ sounding like literal sunshine. “Just gotta get this pie out of the- oh! _Jack!”_

“I just want to rinse my dishes,” he groans, attempting to block the spray with his palms. “I’m a good person. I don’t deserve this.”

He adjusts his hands so that one is blocking the water and reaches for his phone because if Eric won’t call someone, he’ll just deal with his wrath after he calls his own guy. It’s better than waiting for hours while sopping wet.

When his fingers are inches from his, thankfully dry, phone, he hears a soft “ _caucch_ ” behind him. A glowing hand closes over the top of his and the water slows, just enough that he can loosen his grip and not feel like he’ll get more soaked than he is.

“What the hell happened?” Dex says, exasperated. “How does your sink get so bad that it explodes like this?”

“How the hell did you get into my apartment?” Nursey shoots back as Dex heaves a bright red toolbox onto the kitchen counter. “And how the hell was your timing so perfect? I was just about to call someone-”

“Call it intuition.” He does an unintelligible move with a glowing wrench that stops the water entirely. “I picked the lock on your front door. Bitty really needs to up the security on this place.”

“Who?”

“Bitty? The landlord?”

“You mean Er-” Nursey is interrupted by a dripping hand clapping over his mouth.

“He gave you his real name? _Faeguh-_ Bits! He knows better!”

He inspects the faucet further and Nursey takes the opportunity to try and wring some of the water out of his shirt. His efforts are unsuccessful.

“Looks like your valve seat was corroded. I don’t have a spare one, but the wrench fixed it up pretty nice, if I do say so myself.” He mutters under his breath and the faucet spout glows gold. “It’ll last until you move out.”

“Uh, thanks. How much do I owe you?”

“It’s no problem.” Dex places the wrench back into his toolbox and closes the lid. “It’s on me. I owed you one.”

“What?”

“I owed you one. From when we were at my place? After the bar last month?”

Nursey is in shock. “From when I _sucked your dick?”_

“Well, yeah. I _said_ I owed you one. And you said I owed you food, and I said I owed you more than that, and you agreed, and then we got kebabs and then we passed out on my couch and had pancakes for breakfast?” The gold flecking Dex’s cheeks is even more noticeable when he blushes.

“That’s not how sex works, Dex.”

“When I say, ‘I owe you,’ that’s a binding agreement. Besides, it was quite literally the best sex of my life. So, until I have better sex, just call me if you need something fixed.”

He peeks into Nursey’s living room. “I can come over Memorial Day weekend, if you want, and help paint. The green is fucking ugly. I’ve told Bitty as much.”

“I like the green!”

“Don’t lie to me.”

Nursey inhales deeply. “Fine. It’s not my favorite. But I’m attached to it at this point, okay?”

“But consider. A pale cream with green throw pillows.”

“Okay, fine.”

“Excellent!” Dex’s grin is blinding as he grabs the handle of his toolbox. “I’ll see you then.”

“Maybe I can see you before?” Nursey leans against the wall. “There’s a coffee shop a block over that has their own beehives for honey.”

“ _Holy shit.”_

“Figured you’d like that. Are you free on Tuesday?”

“I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Perfect.”

When Nursey is sweeping his entryway later that day, he finds gold dust on the doorframe.

***

“Do you want to come over this weekend?” Chowder asks. “We’re doing a cookout for Memorial Day, and Farms wants you there. She says you have faerie blood, you know.”

“I’ve heard. But I can’t this weekend, I’m sorry.” Nursey rubs the back of his neck and feels his cheeks warm. “A, uh, friend of mine is coming over to help me paint my living room.”

“A friend?”

“A faerie friend.” He continues before he realizes what he’s saying. “I sucked his dick and now he comes over and helps me out with minor home repairs.”

“That happens. Glad the landlord is letting you paint your living room, though. The green is fucking ugly.”

“Hey!”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Fact 1: This fic is based on this post: http://thewinterotter.tumblr.com/post/152425155861/constant-instigator-audsbot. Because whenever I see the words "minor home repair," I think of Dex. 
> 
> Fun Fact 2: My faerie language is loosely based on Scots Gaelic! "Faeguh" means fuck, thus, "faeguh meurin" means fuck me. "Caucch" means shit.
> 
> Special thanks to marpizan on Tumblr for being my beta! Find me there @zimmerdouche.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Fairy Tail](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14882678) by [Denois](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denois/pseuds/Denois), [Lukutoukka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lukutoukka/pseuds/Lukutoukka)




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